Part 7

18.

‘Mr. R K Puram, khade ho jao. Batao seventh question kaise kiye ho?’

‘Bhai Adi, teri kismet sahi mein chudi hui hai.’ Jatin whispered.

Safdar looked intently at me, just as a fisherman looks at his fish.

‘He won’t ever let me be. Bloody freak.’ I squeaked.

‘Are boooloooo.’ He shouted as I stood silently, pretending to read the question.

‘Sir nahi aata.’

‘Kyun nahi aata?’

‘Sir exam chal rahe the school mein, isliye padha nahi ye chapter.’

‘Humein usse koi matlab nahi. Exam sabke chal rahe hai. Tum koi prime minister ho jise hum baksh de.’

There was nothing I could do. Was just hoping for a prompt but there was none.

‘Baith jao.’ He said after some snickering, really pleased with himself.

‘Bloody asshole.’ Jatin said, consoling me.

 ‘Saale ki class ka kitna time bacha hai?’ I asked.

‘Hai abhi time. Kareeb ek ghanta.’

‘Bhenchod, ye to meri leta rahega pure ghanta.’, Frustrated me.

Somehow that long one hour got over, and Safdar kept poking fun at me, looking at me every now and then and saying

‘Tumse to hua nahi hoga?’

Really, he was getting over my head. But there was little I could do about, except studying. But there was no way I could do that. Most of the things bounced off my head.

……………………………………….

‘Adi kal school ayega na?’ Sarth asked, as we batted the stumps into the ground.

‘Haan yaar, school to apna picnic point hai. Wo kaise miss kar sakta hun.’

‘Haan, ye to sahi keh raha hai. Kal to papers bhi milenge.’

‘Milne de. Maine to aajtak koi bhi paper ghar mein na dikhaaye. Waise bhi in choo papers se kya hona hai. Boards mein padh lenge.’ I said

‘Boards mein padh lenge.’ Perhaps this was the most often said line by a NORMAL twelth grader.

‘Bhai sab yahi kehete hai.’ Atul said.

‘Haan bhai pata hai, Main bhi yahi keh raha hun.’ I said giggling.

‘Bhai chemistry mein what lagi hai.’ Sarth said.

‘Chemistry ki yaad mat dila yaar. Main sab mein paas ho jaunga, par chemistry na maar le.’

‘Chemistry kya saale? Sahi to tha paper.’ Atul added.

‘Hat bhenchod. Saale samajh bhi nahi aarhaa tha ki question kaunse chapter ke hain.’ Sarth said.

‘Na be. Sahi tha paper, meri to maths mein lagi hui hai.’ Atul replied.

‘Maths to sahi tha.’ I said as Sarth nodded in confirmation.

‘Ab lele mera mooh mein, isse lund paper na dekha maths ka.’ Atul said.

At a distance, ABIG and Monu stood disinterested in the matter, both of them being commerce students.

‘Ab chhod na. Dekh lenge kal. Jo hoga dekhi jaegi.’ I said, tired of all ‘PADHAI’ conversation. Moreover, the name of MATHS instilled terror in me, as it brought the demonic face of SAFDAR in my head.

We dropped the subject of studies and concentrated on cricket for a while, until the sky grew dark and we had to call it quits, owing to the bad light. After that, we chilled and chatted under the shed in the centre of the ground, as we usually did. This time Atul was at his best, poking fun at ABIG.

‘Aur teri tomar ki padosan se baat nahi hoti? Khidki bhi band reheti hai teri.’ Atul started. ‘Tomar ki padosan’ referred to Deepa.

‘Bhai kab hot thi  use baat meri? Tum log hi mere piche pade rehete ho.’ ABIG defended.

‘Bhai rehende ABIG, hum sabko pata hai tera pyaar uske liye.’ Monu got in to have some fun.

‘Bhenchod tumhe main hi milta hun kya?’ ABIG whined.

‘Bhai ab tu hi hai jo uske piche pada hua hai, hum kya kar sakte hai.’ Atul replied.

‘Tumhe aisa kisne bola be?’

‘Sabko pata hai. Ramnik Singh Sahotta tak janta hai. Tujhe sabne dekha hai apni gandi tedhi nazaro se usko dekhte hue. Beta hum BAAP hai BAAP. Humko chutiya nahi banaa sakta tu.’ Atul replied.(Ramnik Singh is a joker idiot residing in ABIG’s block)

‘To bolte raho jo bolna hai. Main ja raha hun ghar.’

We saw ABIG stomp away, leaving all of laughing our heads off.

‘Saale itne maze loge uske to saala kahin apni chhat se kood kaad na jaye.’ I warned jokingly.

‘OOooo bhenchod. Fir to main hi fasunga. Mera naam sabse pehele likhega suicide letter mein.’ Atul said, sounding alarmed(Just being sarcastic).

‘Abe chal ab. Mere ghar wale meri jaan le lenge.’ I said, dragging Atul up.

‘Abe bol diyo apne TAUJI se ki shed ke niche daaru pee rahe the. Kuch nahi bolenge fir.’ Atul said.

‘Bilkul, wo to kuch nahi bolenge. Fir main bhi kuch bolne layak nahi rahunga. Meri laash hi niklegi mere ghar se.’

We both joked as we both walked towards our homes, parting our way at a corner. It was going to be a bit long night, given the results on the next day. But I wasn’t much worried. Those results mattered little. It all boiled down to just one word - BOARDS, that too according to me, but according to my uncle, it all boiled down to two words, IIT JEE.

……………………………………………….

‘Hey, how much you scored?’ I asked Nayan as he walked past me, rolling his paper into a scroll.

‘Sixty Five.’ He answered.

‘Oh fuck. Damn! That’s great.’ I exclaimed. Sixty five out of seventy is one heck of a score.

‘Tere kitne?’ He asked back.

‘Bhai, hum log to chaalis mein hi khush hai.’ I said grinning. Really, I was more than satisfied with my score. The way I had studied, my efficiency was really high. Next to me Kartikey wasn’t much impressed with his marks. He had scored thirty out of seventy, but looking at the brighter side, he had passed. The bell soon rang and our physics teacher  Mr. Sharma left the class. We all stood up and got ready for Chemistry practical.

‘Man, this aint good. We will be receiving our chemistry papers now.’ I cried.

‘Hmmm. So whats the big deal.’ Kartikey said with an expressionless face.

‘The deal is that its CHEMISTRY, you idiot.’ I tried to braid the idea into his head.

We all walked downstairs towards chemistry lab as the pungent smell of chemicals invaded our noses. We all grabbed a stool and sat in a cluster around the main desk, where the teachers sat. Within five minutes, Charulata walked in with her usual frustratrated-with-life expression on her face. She talked to the lab assistant, better known as ‘BAROOD’ among the students. Don’t know where the name came from, perhaps he blew up some chemicals or something. Charulata then made her way towards her desk and then spoke.

‘Okay bachcho. To aaj humein kya karna hai?’

‘Mam, papers.’ Someone shouted.

‘Why do these guys have such an itching ass?’ I whispered to Atul, sitting beside me.

‘Abhi papers saare check nahi hue hai. Kuch bachcho ke papers check karne baaki hai. Ek do din mein check karke de dungi.’ She said and added ‘Kaunsa tum logo ne bhot achche kiya hai jo itne betaab ho apna paper dekhne ke liye.’ She said the last few words squinching her nose.

‘Kher, aaj tum log chemical weight use karna sikhoge. Uske baad tum petri dish ko wight karoge aur fir salt ko measure karke standard solution banaoge.’

‘What language is she speaking.’ I wondered.

Charulata then turned to the lab assistant and spoke ‘Sir, aap sabko bata doge chemical weighing machine use karna?’

‘Haanji mam, aap jao main bata dunga.’ Said BAROOD and got ready to take over. He cleaned a few petri dishes and handed each of us one dish.

‘Okay everyone, write your name on the dishes so that they don’t get mixed up.’ He said in an awful accent. We all obeyed his orders and did so. Next he showed us the method of balancing the weighing machine and weighing the dish. It was really head aching activity, and required a lot of focus. While I weighed my dish, Charulata , who was sitting in front of me, gave me a disgusted look.

‘Adish tumhaara paper kaisa hua tha?’

‘Mam fail ho sakta hun.’ I said. What could be worse!

‘Hmmm. Tumhara score twenty seven and a half hai. Half number grace de diya. Tum paas ho gaye.’

‘Oh! Thank you mam!’

Though my feelings contradicted my words. I was not at all gratefull. If I scored twenty eight, that meant I deserved atleast forty. Really she is one of those teachers from the stories, really miserly at marks distribution. The worst part was she was even worse at teaching. I really longed to get off her sight, it was really disturbing.

………………………………..

 ‘Saala sar dard ho gaya.’ I said grabbing my head as I walked alongside Nayan.

‘Haan, bhot dimaag kharaab ho gaya weight karne mein.’ Wo both walked upto the class. It was lunch and everyone was busy with his or her tiffin. I knew my tiffin would have already been wiped up, so there was no need to run into the class.

We entered the class and to my surprise my tiffin was intact. I wasted no time and gobbled it up and then turned to Pant

‘Aaj khana nahi khaya?’ I asked, delighted.

‘Man nahi kiya.’ He said. He looked somewhat down today.

‘Hat be. Tabiyat to thik hai?’ I lunged and put my palm on his forehead.

‘Hat madarchod kya kar raha hai. Thik hun main. Nikal yaha se.’

‘Beta hua to hai tujhe kuch. Lagta hai bandi ne chhod diya.’ I poked him as he tried to brush me away.

‘Maa ke lodhe dimaag na kharaab kar.’ He said as Atul and Sarth walked towards us.

‘Bhai dekho, apne panty ko bandi ne chhod diya.’ I shouted

‘Oye hain? Chikki ne tujhe chhod diya?’ Sarth said.

‘Oho. To teri bandi ka naam chikki hai. Yeah yeah.’ I said, amused by the name.

‘Saale Rawat sabke saamne kyun bol raha hai naam.’ Pant said, glaring at Sarth.

‘Abhi to sabko bataunga, Gujju ko pata hai?’ I said. PAYBACK TIME.

‘Madarjaat bhot pitega.’ He said standing up and twisting my arm.

‘Achcha achcha na bol raha kisi se.’ I gave in, giggling. As Pant returned to his seat, I asked

‘Abe ye to bata hai kaisi wo? Aisi hai ya nahi?’ I asked, making an hour glass figure using both hands. As I finished Pant again stood up, and I ran away.

‘Madarchod kabhi to milega.’ He shouted as I evaded him. I loved the whole scene. Something to pull his leg.

………………………………………..

I was in a good mood. Had obtained seventy two marks in Maths, and I hate to say that, all thanks to Safdar. Atleast I was good enough at school level, if not IIT.

‘Yeah chhore, mast number layo se.’ Kartikey punched my back, trying to imitate my Haryanvi accent which I used at times, and seriously raping the beautiful language.

‘Aahh. Don’t do that. My back’s in a bad shape.’ I cried out of pain.

‘What’s the matter with you? I didn’t punch that hard.’ 

Guess what, Pant really meant what he said. A high tension arm twisting coupled with some good punches on the back had me begging for mercy.

‘Kitna padhne lag gaya hai be?’ Kartikey asked.

‘Bohot!’ He had no idea what I had been through.

‘Fuck it! How much time till this shit gets over?’ I enquired.

‘Almost up!’ Kartikey said looking upto his watch.

Within seconds, the bell rang and a few boys rushed outside.

‘Chal main jaa raha hun. Kal milenge.’ I said and left for home.

So at the end of the day, I was in a good condition academically(my opinion, definetly not teachers opinion) except chemistry, like I thought.

Couple of weeks passed quickly. No room for holidays as the weekends were consumed by the institute. Nevertheless, I always took time out of my ‘busy schedule’ to spend time at the playground, watching hot chicks in our sector(rare incident) and accompanying Atul as he bought his vegetables and milk from mother dairy. When at home, I would play CS as often as possible. I did it carefully though, away from ever watchful eyes of my uncle. Kartikey was engrossed with Sandhya and Sabinah most of the days, doing his best to make me jealous. He narrated his incidents and stories with Sabinah, how she was getting naughty with him, fooling around. Sometimes I had a sudden uncontrollable urge to knock his front pegs out, but he was a friend. Though it was hard to figure out whether he was just fucking around with me or if he was really into Sabinah. Whenever I asked him about it, he would say

‘Bilkul serious hu main to ! ‘

This made me wonder even more. I guess he was just fucking around with me.

Anyway, so the time came for party. It was the last week of July and it was Sarth’s birthday. ‘We all took a day off’ from school to party. By taking a day off I mean that we bunked the school. It was my first case of bunking the school, and I was a bit nervous. But with professionals like Sarth, Pant and Atul around, there wasn’t much to worry about. The party was at Atul’s place. His house was vacant at the time, with his parents and bigger bro out doing their daily chores. Pant had the MAIN ITEM ready that is the beer cans. I wasn’t going to drink. So it would just be KADHAI PANEER and BUTTER NAANS I would be gulping along with some soft drinks. There were some other guys from the school including Nishant and Monu.

Pant was the first one to pop up a can, and drank as if he would never get another chance to drink. Sarth and Nishant drank slowly, enjoying every sip along with few other drinkers. Me, Monu and Atul were sipping on our coke!

‘Thodi se lega?’ Sarth offered me a can though I refused.

‘See you I know you not drink! But today bhai ka budday. So drink!’ Pant started, his face flushed red.

‘Abe kya hogya tujhe?’ I asked Pant.

‘Me? Nothing happens to me! But you drink on bhai ka budday!’ Pant said, giving me a can. He was getting drunk! But I thought he was acting.

‘Chutiya hai kya ye?’ I asked Atul softly, so that Pant couldn’t hear.

‘Abhi to ruk. Ye saala peeke paagal ho jaata hai!’ Atul replied.

Pant got up an walked up to the refrigerator. He opened the door and took out an egg.

‘What is this?’ He asked everone holding up the egg.

‘Abe saale rakhde.’ Atul said.

‘No wait. I speaking in english why you not speaking in English. First tell me what is this?’ Pant said in a shrill unusual tone.

‘Abe andaa hai. Rakhde use ab.’ Atul said, trying to grab the egg.

‘No. Tell me in English.’ He said, shoving Atul away.

‘Egg hai. Bhai rakhde use. Foot jaega.’ Atul tried to grab the egg of his hands.

‘Abe chutiye. Ye sirf egg nahi ye Murgi ka egg hai.’ Pant said.

‘Bhenchod. Is chutiye ko koi sambhaalo be.’ I whispered to monu, who seemed ignorant to what was happening.

It took a long while to control Pant, who ran here and there in the house like a raging bull. He was throwing the items here and there, spilling the water. The best part was when he decided to go home with Atuls television set. He disconnected the television, picked it up and walked downstairs with it. It took some persuasion to get him back into the house.

‘Bhenchod ghar ki kya haalat ho gayi hai. Bapu gand mar lega meri.’ Atul said as he stood in the wake of destruction of his house. Most of the guys had left, except Sarth, me, Monu and Nishant. We decided to help Atul put the place in order, and believe me, it was not at all an easy task. But the place was back to normal within an hour.

‘Chal yaar, byee. Shaam ko milte hai.’ I waved Atul bye.

‘Chal fir, aur thanks.’ He waved back.

19.

First week of August, and I was in my room trying to study.

‘Okay now, so if I assume tan x as v and differentiate it I would get sec x square as differential of v by differential of x…. Ahhhh. Im not getting anywhere this way too.’ I ripped my hairs off for the hundredth time.

‘Fuck you Safdar. You got me all screwed!’ I cursed Safdar. I had missed one of his class on integration. Now I couldn’t understand a word of it in the class. Whats worse, he refused to teach me the chapter again.

‘Tumhara kaunsa IIT ho jaega ek chapter padhkar. To kya fayda padhaane ka.’

That’s what he had to say. And he considered himself a teacher. I wish he fucking rots in dirt. Serves him right. Now I was all on my own, trying to figure out what integration is like. After an hour of failure, I just couldn’t carry anymore. I took a peek outside the windy.

‘Oh man. The weather looks so inviting.’ I was really taken in by lovely wind and cloudy, dusky weather.

‘Man, I have had enough. I can’t miss such a lovely day.’ I quickly called Atul and asked him to be present at the ground. Couple of more calls, and I was running towards the  playground.

On the way I saw Atul walking clumsily towards the playground as well. On seeing me he shouted.

‘Haraami itni jaldi kyun bulaya. Achcha khaasa so raha tha main.’

‘Saale mausam dekh kitna achcha ho raha hai. Sota rahiyo baad mein.’

‘Sarth aarha hai kya?’ He asked.

‘Bol to raha tha ki dus minute mein arha hai.’

‘Achcha. Chal mujhe bhuk lagi hai DMS par kuch khaate hai.’

We walked upto the DMS booth situated next to the playground.

‘Bhaiya ek kurkure ka packet de do.’ Atul extended a ten rupees note towards the vendor.

‘Aur kuch bhaiya ji?’ The vendor asked.

‘Nahi bhaiya. Jitne paise the sab de diye. Agar ismein aur kuch de sakte ho to de do.’

‘Are bhaiya ji kaisi baat kar rahe ho.’ Vendor said smiling.

‘Teri badi achchi dosti hai isse.’ I spoke softly into Atuls ear.

‘Aur nahi to kya. Bhaiya mast hai.’ He replied.

‘Achcha sahi hai. Chal kurkure de.’ I said reaching over to the packet.

‘Oo madarchod kam le thoda. Haraami saale itna saara le liya.’ Screamed Atul as I drew a fistful of snacks.

‘Beta jaldi khale. Monu aarha hai.’ I warned Atul was I saw Monu approaching from the corner of my eye.

‘Kamino akele akele kha liye.’ Monu said, appealing to our conscience, as if like we had any.

‘Akele kahan hai. Do logo ne milkar khaya hai.’ I said sheepishly.

‘Monu kuch rupai laya hai.’ Atul asked.

‘Na bhai. Kangaali chhayi hai.’ Monu replied.

‘Yaar itne mast mausam mein bike chalaane ka man ho raha hai.’ I signaled Monu to bring out his bike.

‘Hohoho Adi AAR YOU JOKING?’ Monu said with a big smile and his palm pointed towards me.

‘Saale le aya kar na kabhi kabhi apni bike bahaar. Main le ata abhi apne bhai ki bike agar hoti ghar par to!’. Disappointment was evident in my voice.

‘Koi nahi Adi. Jis din tu apni bike le aayga us din main bhi le aunga.’ Monu ended the argument.

‘Achcha chal wicket aur bat to le aa. Main Sarth ko phone karta hun jabtak.’

Sarth was seen soon afterwards in his signature attire, sleeveless shirt and Capri pants. But before the match could begin it started raining. We all ran under the shed for cover.

‘Kya yaar. Itna mast mausam ho rakha tha. Saala ye to kutta panti ho gayi.’ I spoke, distressed.

‘Haan yaar.’ Supported Monu.

‘Ab ke kare!’

‘Bhai ab to kuch na ho sakta. Baarish ke rukne ke baad chalo ghar aur sojao.’ Atul adviced.

‘Saale mote sone ke elaava bhi kuch kar liya kar.’ Sarth said.

‘Saale kutte tu padh liya kar kabhi kabhi. Jab bhi dekho facebook par.’ Atul claimed.

Those two got into a brief playfull scuffle. Minutes later rain stopped, but it left the ground unplayable.

‘Chalo yaar. Aaj to barbaad ho gaye.’ Monu said.

‘ABIG ko bulalo. Saale se maze lenge.’ I said, evilness flowing through my voice.

‘Abe O Adi. Saale ro jaega wo. Waise bhi saala mujhe dekh kar bhaag jaata hai.’ Atul said. Really, Atul would always sneak up his ass. Poor ABIG.

‘To saale kyun marta hai tu uski itni gand.’

‘Yaar, kya karu. Control hi nahi hota.’ Atul laughed. Such a devil. But one thing was sure, it was a nice commotion whenever Atul and ABIG both are around.

‘Sahi hai. Le saale ki. Bhot haraami hai saala.’ Sarth added.

‘Ab wo sab chhodo. Ye socho ab kya karna hai?’ I changed the topic.

‘Karna kya hai. Chalo sab ghar. Aaj kuch na hone wala.’ Atul jabbered.

‘Hmm. Chalo fir. Main to chalta hun.’ Monu said as he stepped on a solid ground next to a small puddle.

‘Chal fir Atul. Meri to saala kismet hi kharaab hai.’ I said as I shoved Atul into a puddle.

‘Haraamkhor. Saale mere ghar wale na dhone wale ye pant. Tujhse hi dhulwaunga.’ He said as he splashed muddy water all over his pants. I could feel horns growing on my head.

I reached home and knocked the door. My aunt answered the door.

‘Tauji nahi aaye.’ I asked as I saw no sign of my uncle.

‘Nahi. Gurgaon gaye hai.’ She replied.

‘Kyun? Wo to zyadatar weekends par jaate hai na.’

‘Haan par mummy ki tabiyat kharaab ho gayi tumhaari. Isliye gaye hai bhaiya ke saath.’

‘Kya? Kya hogya unhe.’ I asked in a serious tone.

‘Wahi. Unka BP high hogya. Zyada tension leti reheti hai.’

‘Are yaar. Unse maine kitni baad bola hai ki tension nahi liya kare. Pata nahi kya hojaata hai unhe.’

It was almost two years since my father passed away but mom hadn’t yet recovered from the sorrow and the pain. Every now and then, she would think about it so much that she would suffer high blood pressure and would get admitted in a hospital. I really hated it. She was constantly being eaten away by the pain. The worst thing was I couldn’t do much about it. I was here in Delhi while she was living in Gurgaon. It wasn’t possible to meet her often, given my coaching classes on the weekend.

‘Achcha. To abhi kaisi hai unki tabiyat?’ I asked my cousin over the phone a couple of hours later.

‘Abhi to dawaa lekar so gayi hai.’ He replied.

‘Achcha chalo thik hai.’ I hung up.

She needs to take it easy. We are still there for her, I thought. I was kind off disturbed. Who wouldn’t be. I couldn’t concentrate on my studies that day. So I just gave up and went to bed.

A couple of days later, I was trying in computer class in school, trying to catch what MAMUN said.

‘Saala kitna dhire bolta hai ye.’ Voiced Atul.

‘Saale tu padh raha hai?’ I was surprised.

‘Bhai computer mein kuch na aata mujhe.’ He replied.

‘Koi nahi. Sab chalta hai.’ I tried to get over with the argument.

I was in a better mood that day. Mom was much better and I had a chat with her over the phone. Still not at her best though.

‘Haraami saale tharki mujhe pata hai tera dhyaan kahaan hai.’ He said, the he let a flurry of abuses thrown at me.

‘Abe to kya hua agar use ghoor raha hun to.’ I said, as if it was no big deal staring at a girl. Really is it? Every boy does so.

‘Saale Sabinah ko ghur ghur kar hi saara time nikaalega kya? Dam hai jo ja jaake baat kar.’

‘Na rehene de!’ Really, it would be awkward, talking after such a long time.

‘Bas, fat gayi!’ Atul was trying to fuel me up. He was really good at it, but as you get to know him better, you fall into his trap less often.

‘Haan, fat gayi. Khush?’

‘Adi saale tu chutiya hai kitna bada.’

‘Chal saale ab pakaa mat.’

We got over with the class, and as I walked out of the lab with Atul, someone tapped me from behind.

‘Uh, hi Adish. I wanted to talk to you for a minute, if you don’t mind.’ It was Sandhya, Sabinah’s fast friend.

‘Okay sure. Go ahead.’

I saw Atul leave with a few of his friends. Guess he didn’t like to be around girls.

‘You know about the computer project, do you?’  She started.

‘Uh, yeah!’ I understood what was coming.

‘Actually I and Sabinah tried to go about it, but we both are clueless what to do. I was asking if you could help us.’ She said nervously, as if I was going to eat her.

‘Um, okay. I will help as much as I can.’ Of course, as soon as she named Sabinah, there was no way I could say no. Not at all.

‘Oh! Thank you so much!’ She said, relieved.

I walked up to the class, grinning to myself. I entered the class to find Kartikey seated in a corner seat.

‘Hey you bitch, you ought to know this.’ I yelled excitedly at him?

‘What, you found out your a fag?’ He said in the same tone.

‘Shut up you dickhead a listen up.’ I narrated him the incident. I expected him to be surprised, but he seemed unfazed.

‘Good,I knew that it would happen.’ He said.

‘What? How?’

‘Because, you idiot, I was the one to advise them to seek your help.’

‘You what?’ I asked, confused.

‘I told them that you were good at computers, and you could help them in their project.’

‘Oh, I thought you were into Sabinah yourself.’

‘Ah, fuck you dog. No way. I, more often than not, talked about you.’

‘Did you? Never told me that.’

‘Did I need to?’ he sounded surprised.

‘Oh no. So should l be little thankful to you.’

‘You better be.’ He said grinning.

‘I’ll be. Later. First hand over your lunch.’

‘No way, I am hungry.’

‘Later.’ I said as I slipped my hand into his bag and drew his tiffin.

‘Let’s see what’s in it…….. Wow man, macaroni.’ I yelled. Guess he was called Macaroni man for a reason. But then I realized I had committed a huge mistake. Shouting macaroni in a class full of starving freaks in unforgivable. Even before I could eat a spoons, a crowd of boys mobbed me and attacked the tiffin like scavengers.

‘Bhen ke lodho, khaane do, madarchodo, saalo randy ke pillo, betichodo…’ I kept shouting cursed at them, but none of them cared. Too busy serving their stomachs.

‘Sorry bhai.’ I apologized as I handed Kartikey his empty tiffin back, though he was too shell shocked to say anything just then. Given his huge stomach, I bet he had a second tiffin as well.

‘Saale bhuk lagi hai mujhe. Kutte ab bhagja tu yaha se.’ He said angrily as he drew another tiffin from his bag. TOLD YOU!

……………………………………….

‘Aaj to Harsh bhi ayga’ Sarth said.

‘Harsh? Wo yaha kyun ayga?’ Atul asked

‘Wo saamne wale ghar mein shift hogya. Ab wo apne Monu ka dur ka padosi ban gaya. Bol raha tha khelne ke liye’ Sarth replied.

We were playing cricket in the ground as Sarth informed us about the ‘soon-arrival; of a classmate Harsh. He was a huge guy and was hairy all over. A wannabe rock star, he was a part of our school band and played drums. He had a habit of getting drunk, more than anyone I knew.

‘Aajaaye to thik hai. Hum to shuru karte hai.’ I offered.

Five minutes later, a tall hairy guy in red jersey and shorts walked awkwardly towards the playing are. Going by the hairs, you could tell it was Harsh.

‘Aur bhai kaisa hai?’

‘Bas yaar thik hun.’ He replied in a hoarse voice.

He was a cunning guy, had a habit of bitching. Mostly he would go after Gujju, but that didn’t stop him from having a ‘little fun’ with other guys. He chatted with Sarth for a while, when Sarth called out to me.

‘Oye Adi, danger! Jayant also after Sabinah’ Sarth said.

Suddenly Harsh jumped one eighty degrees around, as if he found some kind of gem.

‘Kya? Tub hi uske piche hai kya.’

‘What?’ I stood bewildered. I saw Sarth, who bore a look of what-have-I-done.

‘Saale tub hi Sabinah ke piche hai.’ Harsh said in amazement.

‘Na be. Kisne bola.’ I replied.

‘Saale chutiya mat kaat. Warna Sarth kyun bolta aisa?’

‘Abe galti se bol diya hoga.’

‘Choootiya hai kya. Galti se sirf tera hi naam kyun lega. Oye Sarth tu bata. Ye piche hai kya Sabinah ke.’ Harsh said, turning to Sarth, while Sarth just gave a sorry smile.

‘Beta tu pakka hai uske piche. Sahi bata de warna main kal hi school mein baat bata dunga sabko.’

Well, there were many people to confirm the news, so I better tell him the truth myself. Maybe that way I could convince him to shut his mouth.

‘Han thodi bhot pasand hai. Ab tu chup rahiyo.’

‘To tune kabhi usse baat ki?’ He inquired.

‘Na, eleventh mein hui thi thodi bhot.’

‘To saale karni shuru kar na. Kab karega? Jab twelth khatam ho jaegi?’ He said.

‘Abe kar lunga na. Tu bas kisi ko mat bataaiyo.’

‘Ye baat to sabko bataane wali hai. Itne asaani se thodi pata chalti hai aisi baatein.’ He said as smile spread over his face.

‘Fucking bitch.’ I thought. I’m screwed man.

Later after the game when Harsh had left.

‘Kya yaar uske saamne kyun bola tune.’ I complained.

‘Yaar galti se bol diya. Kher main usse baat kar lunga won na bataayga kisi ko.’

‘That is unlikely.’ I said.

We walked upto the market as we often did.

‘Chal Atul aaj to kuch khila de. Dimaag kharaab ho rakha hai.’

‘Chal saale paise nahi hai bilkul.’

‘Achcha? To jitney mile saare mere.’ I used his trick on him.

‘Saale baapu ko waapas bhi dene hote hai.’

‘Agya na line par. Chal ek paneer patty. Bas.’

It was hard convincing him to spend some bucks, but he did it in the end, only after making a deal that I would do so the other day.

‘Ab chal mere saath ghar tak. Mujhe doodh lena hai.’ Atul said as we waved Sarth bye.

‘Meri lele haraami tu. Straw daal kar khun pile mera kutte.’ I said angrily as he urged me to accompany him. It had been inculcated into our habits to walk for atleast half an hour after the game. We walked as I recapped the day, that’s when I remembered what Sandhya had asked me to do.

‘Hey Atul, what you gonna do about the computer project?’ I asked.

‘Nothing. I aint doing nothing. The project is supposed to be done in groups of two. You’ll do it for me.’ He replied.

‘Oh, for sure. And your gonna sit nice?’

‘Hey we had a deal. I would do the physical project for you. It’s just that I am totally zero in computers.’ He replied.

‘Okay!’

I wanted to tell him about my conversation with Sandhya, but held back. Maybe someday later.

I walked into my house to find my uncle staring at me.

‘So this is how you are preparing for IIT?’ he said in a firm voice.

I had no answer. I just walked into my room without gazing at him. I took out a book and started pretending as if I was studying. Hate to study.

The next day, I was working on my computer. I searched the internet for any help on computer project. It took less than 5 minutes to search. Suddenly every project of the project list given to us by MAMUN was at my disposal. It just had to go eenie-meenie-mynee-mo. I should have shut down my computer, but suddenly my senses suddenly went out of my control. My hands slowly moved and I double clicked on a grey icon, icon of CS.

The next minute of was facing barrage of bullets.

‘Yo bitch, your gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’ I screamed as I fired aimlessly.

No one was at home. Uncle and Aunty out at a wedding, cousins at work. All alone at my home.

‘Die motherfucker dieeeeeee. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!’

‘TAKE THAT. You son of a bitch… Here’s a godzilaaaaaa dick cominggg.’

‘FUCK YOU. YOU MOTHER FUCKER, hacker. I will FUCKKK YOU uppp. USING AIMBOT YOU BLOODY COCKSUCKER.’

‘HERE COMES THE DADDYYY.’

I cried curses as I played the game. Emotions flying wildly. You just can’t play CS without them. After few minutes I grew tired of playing CS. Time for a break. What could be better break than……

I pulled the curtains, clicked the google chrome browser, switched onto the incognito window, and well you’re intelligent now(else go watch pogo).