Part 12

26.

 The calendar entered into mid December, indicating that pre boards were round the corner. In a weeks time we would be facing our pre board practical exams. Moreover our computer project had to be submitted. Practical was never a big deal, neither was the project. It was pre boards, like a full costume rehearsal, before the DADDY of exams, THE BOARDS. I needed to do well in pre boards. Or else I would be facing retest in February, or else I wont be receiving my admit card (they were just formalities conducted by the school).

But Sabinah and Sandhya had a lot more to worry. Poor creatures couldn’t handle the programs either. I had to tell them each and every step. Spoon feeding was the order of the day for them. Anyway’s I was more than willing to help Sabinah with it. And studies, well do I really need to talk about it?

‘Okay. Everybody submit your projects,’ Mamun squeaked.

‘Tune nikaal liye print outs?’ I asked Atul who stood behind me.

‘Haan. Kutte saale itne din se bola tha project mail karde. Kal hi kiya saale.’ He poked his pen on my back.

‘Abe hogaya na kaam. Shant  reh ab.’

I then saw Sabinah and Sandhya enter the room, five minutes late. They held their projects in their had. Finally, they did it!

‘Hi,’ Sabinah waved. I nodded back with a smile. She walked over to me as she greeted Atul too. Atul returned the greeting, but I could clearly read that he didn’t like her presence.

‘Tumhara hogaya project,’ She asked.

‘Haan ho hi gaya,’

‘Ohk. Aur physical ka project kiya’ she asked.

‘Abhi to use submit karne mein time hai. Ho jaega.’

‘Ohk,’ she whispered.

‘Hey kya school ke baat free ho?’ I asked.

‘Haan, kyun’

‘Nahi bas aise hi pucha. Kya mera wait kar sakti ho gate ke samne school over hone ke baad?’

At first she looked a bit puzzled, but then she nodded and said,

‘Haan, no problem. Wait kar lungi,’

‘Thanks. Par akele,’ I whispered, hinting her that I did not wish to entertain a threesome this time.

‘Ohk,’ She smiled. Perfect.

Later that day, I was on a walk with her after school, that’s when I decided to break the ice and ask her something.

‘Hey can I ask you something?’ I started.

‘Yeah go ahead,’ She paved the way.

‘Ohk. Ek baat batana sach sach. Do you have any feelings for me?’ I spoke the last sentence slowly. At first there was a brief pause, and with every second my heart beat rose. But then finally she spoke,

‘Kis type ki feelings?’ So she was playing innocent. Then I had to play straight.

‘Tumhe pata hai. Aur tumhe meri feelings bhi pata hai tumhare liye.’ I replied. Again a brief pause.

‘I don’t know. Maybe,’

FUCK!  ‘MAYBE’ . This word must have been used by girls for over centuries. The last time I heard that word from a girl was from Sanskriti, and it ended in Milo whooping Kartikey’s ass (they had been good friend once).

‘Adi, I don’t think I am the right girl for you,’ she added. Talk about being diplomatic.

‘Look. Just tell me whatever it is. If you don’t like me, just say it. And I am just asking about your feelings. That’s it,’ I sounded a little strict to myself.

‘Yes, I have feeling for you,’ She finally spoke after thinking a few seconds. But those words suddenly made me a more cheerful person. So what is she isn’t in relationship with me. She HAD feelings for me.

‘Listen Adi, my family is really conservative. If they come to know about any of my relationship again, they will kill me,’ she said.

‘AGAIN? What do you mean by that?’ I asked.

‘My sister came to know about my relation with Krishna,’ she sighed.

‘Yeah! Krishna! Were you really in a relationship with Krishna?’ I asked in a shrill tone.Somehow I couldn’t ever fathom her being in relationship with him. It just wasn’t, to put it mildly, natural ( But then again, that could have been said for most of the couples in our school).

‘Yeah, kind of,’ she made a disgusted expression on that question.

‘What do you mean by KIND OF?’

‘Look. I really wasn’t into him. It was more of a time paas,’ She said.

‘TIME PAAS. GREAT,’ Wow. Never seen this side of her. Going by her looks, she really seemed innocent and devoid of any ‘evilness’. But now I was discovering a shadier side of her.

‘I know you must be wondering what kind of girl I am, isn’t it,’ She must have read my mind.

‘Uh, Oh! No! No way,’ What else was I supposed to say.

‘You know what. He sort of asked for it,’ She tried to justify her actions.

‘How come?’ I asked.

‘He always claimed that no girl could ditch him. He thought he was a stud or something like that. Served him right.’She spoke the final sentence coldly.

‘Yeah you are right about that,’ I supported her ( I really loved it).

‘Ohk Then. Your home’s here. Bye,’ I turned and waved her goodbye. I had plenty of food for thought to ponder upon.

………………………………………………………

A couple of days later, I was with Sabinah, and Sandhya. Mamun was absent, so it was a period off. So we decide to hang around in the campus.

‘Let’s go to the playground,’ Sandhya suggested.

‘No, I don’t think it’s a good idea,’ I advised.

‘Why so?’ she asked back.

‘Because its physical class and my friends are there,’ I replied.

‘So what. Will they eat you up?’ she snorted back. I wasn’t in a mood of arguing, so I went as they planned. We made our way towards the ground. As soon as we burst out of the building, we discovered my whole class at the bunkers along with Atul, Rawat, Pant, Harsh. As soon as they noticed me with Sabinah everyone went quite for a moment, and the very next there was an uproar and all of them jumped and danced like crazy monkeys.

‘Yeah Adi. Yeah,’ they roared. I noticed Sandhya and Sabinah turn around instantly and walk back into the building and out of sight.

‘Shant! Sab Shant Ho jao.’ Ashu, one the strong guys of the class shouted.

‘Bhai Adi sorry. Tu ja. Ab koi na pareshaan karega tujhe,’ He said.

‘Adi ka to katta kar diya humnei,’ I heard Harsh murmur.

‘Adi bhai tu ja. Sorry’ Ashu said again. I rushed back into the building to catch up with the girls.

‘You know what. Your friends are all jerks,’ Sandhya cried angrily.

‘Don’t say I didn’t tell you,’ I said.

‘Yeah, whatever,’ Sandhya rolled her eyes.

…………………………………………………………………

I was trying to slog it out in chemistry that’s when my cell rang. It was mom. I picked it up and at first it was a normal chat. But then again, mom started talking about the hardships, trials and tribulations she was going through, and how I was her and my little brothers only hope. She started sobbing on the phone. The only thing I couldn’t stand was to see her crying.

‘Mom, will you stop crying,’ I shouted.

‘Ok! I am sorry. And how are your studies going,’ She changed the topic, and was I glad.

‘Don’t ask about it. I am just trying to pick up the pieces. Don’t  keep your expectations too high on me,’ I warned her.

‘Just keep working son. Lord Krishna has said that you just do your work and don’t think about the result,’

‘Don’t talk about what Lord said. All rubbish he said for humans to suffer,’  

‘Don’t talk about God about that,’ she warned.

‘Oh really? Where was your god when father passed away. And I am here dealing with something I never wanted in first place. Stop Godding, I’m done with it,’ I hung up and switched off my phone. Hell was I in bad mood now. I had a sudden urge to to leave everything behind and run away somewhere. I just didn’t wish to continue. I am just made into a soldier to fulfill some else’s ambitions.

About a week later, and we got through our pre board practicals. They weren’t a big deal. Well, practicals never are. It was the pre boards that  I had to prepare for. It was like a full dress rehearsal before the big event. And honestly, I slogged it out quite a lot. That final week of December was really hectic. I studied more than the whole year put together. I didn’t want to face the retests. Somehow I was able to keep all the distraction away for the week. That was really hard, I got to admit. But pre boards went fine. The worst was chemistry. But I had expected to clear it.

Just as the preboards got over, we braced up for the board practicals. Now, even though practicals are not much of a worry, but you add the B prefix, it starts to look somewhat intimidating.

So as the pre board ended, we entered a new year. All of us made some resolutions to break, mine was to study. Anyways, Mamun had called us two days before the practical exam. He had to give some special instructions regarding the same. We guys knew he was going to give away the paper. Just formalities remained.

‘Achcha. Main sabko sheet de raha hu. In mein questions likhe hai. Inhi mein se programs aayenge practical mein,’ He said.

‘Bola than na,’ Atul whispered in my ear.

‘Haan be. Sabko pata tha.’

Mamun distributed sheets. We grabbed ours.

‘Bhen ki choot. Saale twenty programs hai,’ Atul was alarmed.

‘Haan to sahi to hai. Easy hai.’ I snapped back, after going through the sheet.

‘Bhai mujhe kuch na aata. Kya karunga?’

‘Cheating kar liyo. Kunsa badi baat hai,’ I replied.

‘Ruk mere paas better idea hai.’ Atul rushed towards Mamun. I followed him to see what was going on.

‘To itne din se kya kar rahe the. Jaldi dalo. Parso practical hai,’ Mamun replied to some pleading by Atul.

‘Kya ho raha hai,’ I asked him after he got saperated from the teacher.

‘Jaldi Adi. Saare programs daal de saare computers mein,’ He spoke breathlessly.

‘Kya?’

‘Abe Mamun se puch liya. Usne bol diya ki programs daal lo computers mein.’ He explained.

‘FAAD BHENCHOD!’ Okay, I knew most of the programs. But how could one resist when answers are so easily accessible in an exam. I quickly informed the other good programmers, and within ten minutes we had all the programs ready. The last part was carried out soon as we saved all the programs in all the computers. We had full support of the lab assistant in this case. I guess we weren’t the first one doing the scam. It probably was done year after year after year.

Couple of days later, we were sitting at our allocated desks. Mamun distributed sheets containing the question. I closely read the questions. There were three of them, and we had to attempt any two.

‘Write a program to enter and add two matrix.’

‘heh! Retardedly easy,’ I thought. Don’t even need to look at the answers. Then I moved on to the second question.

‘Write a program to enter and sort elements using insertion sort.’ Not difficult. I moved onto the third one. Though it wasn’t necessary but still I did. It was regarding pointers. Not my forte. So I decided to skip that one. Within ten minutes I was done with the programs. Now I waited for the external to call me up for the viva. Till then I helped other creatures and damsels in distress who needed some instructions in copying and pasting, bloody BIMBOS. Sabinah was in second group and I was in first. So she wasn’t around at the moment. After half an hour, I finally got called for the viva, along with Atul as he was my project partner. The external was a lady teacher, that meant we could be doomed. We handed her our project. She looked for it for less than a second, then threw it to the ground.

‘Kaunsi site se liya hai?’ Her first question.

‘Mam! Icbse,’ Definitely no fooling her.

‘Okay sit,’ She offered the chairs.

‘Whats your name,’ She asked and we responded. Then she looked at me with expressionless face.

‘Here we get started,’ I thought.

‘Okay Adish, tell me in which header file does the function SQRT reside.’ Easy one. Really easy one.

‘Math.h’ I responded and she nodded. She was perhaps in a good mood. It really could be unstable with the female teachers. They could be radioactive at times. Like our chemistry teacher. She always whined about her husband and quarrels, and it really showed on our report cards.

‘Okay now your turn,’ she turned over to Atul.

‘Tell me something about data handling.’ As soon as she finished the question, the look on Atul’s face said it all. Poor guy looked like he had seen a ghost. No signs of blood on his face.. Togive it to him, that question was a bit tough, and as he claimed he had studied nothing, it was probably much more difficult. Atul shook his head, indicating that he had thrown the towels in that one.

‘You tell me the answer of the same question,’ she turned over to me.

‘We need to store data entered by user in memory. That’s where data handling comes to use. Data can be stored in two types of files, text file and binary…’

‘Okay fine.’ She interrupted me before I could finish. I guess she got what she wanted for the answer.

‘Why do we use getch at the end of the program. What is its function?’ She asked Atul again.

‘It indicates the end of the program,’ Atul spoke after some thinking.

‘Is that it?’ She cross questioned. Atul had no answer to this one. Then she turned over to me.

‘If we don’t use getch statement, the output screen will jump out immediately after printing the result. But when we use getch, the compiler will wait for the user to press a key before skipping back.’

‘Okay. Ye wala to bata dena,’ She said turning back to Atul.

‘LIFO ka full form,’ she asked.

‘Last In First Out,’ Atul said confidently this time.

‘Where do we use this concept?’ She asked back.

‘Stacks.’ Atul replied. I hadn’t expected him to answer this one. But he did so, gladly.

‘Okay, you may go. Ask the next roll number to come,’ she waved us to go.

‘Gand marli bhenchod,’ Atul cried as we left the examination room.

‘Are yaar. Chalta hai. Waise bhi tune optional subject physical le to rakha hai. Ismein fail bhi hoagaya to koi farak na padega.’ I consoled him.

‘Aur nahi to kya. Physical hi bedaa paar lagayga.’

………………………………………………..

Later that day, I was busy finalizing the layout of my physical project. Physical practical exam was scheduled for next day. I had procured the soft copy of the project, thanks to ATUL, who infact got it from RAWAT. All I had to do now was change the looks of the project (I bet you most of the guys had the same project, exact word to word). Seriously, technology has killed the scope of imagination, from porns to projects. As I was busy trying out different backgrounds, my phone rang. I casually glanced at the caller. It was Sabinah. Oh, got to pick this one.

‘Hello,’ I cried breathlessly.

‘Hey Adi. How are you?’ She asked.

‘Well, fine,’ That was weird. We just saperated few hours ago during the practical.

‘Hey thanks for the help today,’ She said.

‘What help?’

‘Didn’t you save the programs in all the computers? It helped us all a lot,’ She explained.

‘Oh that. No problem,’ I said, somewhat flattered. Atul and his brilliant plans. I got to tell you, he is really smart. But he mostly uses his wits in destructive stuff, like getting people to get involved into fights and getting despo guys propose every girl passing by. Though never really did that on me.

‘Hey have you completed your physical project. Day after tomorrow I will be appearing for the practical’ now THAT was what she called for. My hopes, which had taken off few seconds ago, came crashing down. SOMEONE BITE ME!

‘Well yeah, on it right now,’ I said, disappointment showing in my voice.

‘Ohk! When will it be completed.’

‘Probably half an hour,’ I replied.

‘Can you message me when your done.’

‘Sure. Ohk then. Bye.’

‘Bye. Take care,’ She hung up.

So I had another work at hand now. Better make it quick. About half an hour later, I finally got over with the project. Another nail out of my ass. I messaged Sabinah and made my way towards the market. Minutes later she was in sight.

‘Thanks a lot. You really saved me. I had almost forgot about the project. Sandhya reminded me,’ She said.

‘Yeah awesome,’ I said sarcastically.

‘Are you in a hurry,’ She asked.

‘No. Surely not when I’m with you,’ I winked at her. She smiled and shied a bit.

‘Okay. I just need to get these photocopied,’ She said, signing to move towards the Xerox shop.

‘Xerox? But external would figure that out easily .’ I said.

‘What else could I do. Can’t do anything now. Got to get it ready by tomorrow.’

‘But isn’t your exam scheduled day after tomorrow.’

‘It is. But we need to get our project checked by tomorrow.’

‘Okay. If that’s what you want.’ I replied.

On my way home, I got a call from Atul.

‘Kahan hai madarchod?’  He greeted me with too much respect to handle.

‘G.B Road,’ I said huffing and puffing, as if I was involved in an intense hardcore ‘make out’ activity.

‘Bata na bhosdi ke,’ he insisted.

‘Ghar pohochne wala hun.’

‘Achcha sun. Physical ke project ka print ou nikal de. Meri ink khatam ho gayi hai,’ I was surprised how authoritatively he said. As if he owned my ass.

‘Maa chuda,’ I ‘sweetly’ refused.

‘Bhosdi ke nikal de na,’ He insisted.

‘Chal sale.’

‘Achcha kal treat le liyo KFC mein,’ Now we were talking.

‘Kaise nikalna hai. TAGDA background effects?’ I wasn’t for sale, but Atul was my friend man! A friend in need is a friend indeed, isn’t it?

‘Na na. Bas normal. Ek do pics daal diyo. Bas.’

‘Okay!’

I had some more work to do. That’s when I thought of it. Since I had to get those print outs, I could rather print two copies (One for my ‘dearest’ Sabinah, ofcourse). Poor girl was in distress. I can be her Superman. Yeah of course Atul, don’t need no explaination for  brothers.

………………………………………….

‘Le bhadwe,’ I said handing Atul his project next day at school.

‘Treat de diyo jaldi,’ I reminded him.

‘Treat? Huh. Maa chuda.’ Now that son of a bitch is asking for it.

‘Baap se bakchodi?’

‘Gand mara,’ He said, flinging his arms around.

‘Beta treat tu dega, tera baap dega,’

‘Fir baap se hi le liyo,’ He replied. I will take care about him later. First I need to hand over the second project to Sabinah.

I trotted upto the B section and peeped inside. All guys mugging up some experiments. I spotted Sabinah somewhere in the middle. I motioned her to meet me. She came upto me.

‘Hey, what’s up,’ she greeted.

‘Well nothing much. Just got something for you,’ I said, hading her the project.

‘What’s this,’ She said, baffled a bit.

‘Physical project.’

‘But I already got it done yesterday.’

‘Well, this, you can say, is in HIGH DEFINATION. It comes with colours,’ I said while she checked out the project.

‘Oh. Adi I don’t know how to thank you,’ She replied.

I wished she did. I really wished.

‘It’s okay. No need for that.’

‘No. I mean who helps so much these days. I will repay the debt definetly whenever I can.’

 ‘Okay. Don’t burden yourself. It’s fine. Gotta go now. Hey could you wait for me after your exam?’

‘Yeah sure. When will your exam be over?’

‘Maybe two hours. Not more than that.’

‘Okay. I will wait after my exam gets over.’

…………………………………………………….

After the exam, I was with Sabinah in my class. Almost whole block was empty. None in sight. It was the best time I could spend with her. We were chatting when she slowly slipped her hand on my hand. It was the first time we were getting so close. A tickle ran down my spice.

‘You have really been so helpful.’ She said sweetly and moved a bit closer to me. Was it really happening. I need to pinch myself.

‘Oh no! It wasn’t a big deal,’ I replied.

‘Yes it is, to me. You are just being modest,’ She replied.

‘Is it?’ I said, slowly moving my face closer to her, looking directly into her eyes. She responded by moving even closer. Suddenly, a wave swept over and she touched my lips with hers. A zap of electricity ran through my body. Energy ran into every strand of hair in my body. I was experiencing my first kiss. It had to be the best feeling I had ever experienced. We saperated about a minute later, I was totally red due to blushing.

‘I think we should leave now,’ I said, suddenly a feeling of dread taking over. I didn’t want anybody discovering we both alone in the whole block.

‘Really? I would stay here a bit longer.’ She replied.

‘No. We should better leave.’

‘Okay. If you say so.’

I accompanied her to her block, from there we saperated for our homes.

………………………………………

‘Okay twelth standard. I need silence,’ Charulata shouted. We had gathered in library to receive our answer sheets of chemistry pre boards. We had received some of our sheets, and I had performed horribly in most. Had just avoided the ‘retest’ line. But the worst subject, chemistry, was what I feared.

I was already in hell bad of a mood. I hadn’t expected this bad result. Really now I was plagued by self doubt. All the confidence that I could do well in boards seemed to vaporize in a day itself.

‘Okay children. I have to tell you that you have done badly. But you still have around one and a half month to go. I hope you all cover up. Those who have scored below twenty are supposed to clear retest in February, or else they wil not receive admit card,’ She continued with her ‘morale boosting’ speech along with other do’s and donts. Throwing light on her ‘below twenty line’, I should be able to clear that. After getting over with her speech (had she continued for five more minutes, I swear I would have started bleeding from my ears), she finaly unwrapped a bunch of sheets and started assembling them in order.

‘Adi, somewhere in there lays your death warrant,’ Atul poked from behind. I didn’t reply. I had already received a few of them from other teachers. This one would be a nail in the coffin.

She started calling out names in reverse order. Atul rushed towards her as she called out his name. He came back with a big grin on his face.

‘Hogaya paas randy ke?’ I asked.

‘Nahi. Par retest se bach gaya. Twenty three aaye hai,’ He laughed. After a while, she finally called out my name. I rushed towards her. She looked at me, made an ugly pooper-like face, and handed me my paper. I glanced at it.

…………………………………………………….

‘Bhen ki lodhi. Maa chudi saali randy ki beej. Haraami kutiyaa..’ I was shouting in the middle of the road. Never been in such a bad mood. Atul walked alongside me comparing our papers, while Rawat and Pant tried to calm me down.

‘Abe lol,’ Atul cried.

‘Dekh Rawat. Charulata ne to Adi ki buri wali marli.’ He said handing over both the papers to Rawat.

‘Lol. Bhai Adi tune usse kabhi pange to na liye,’ Rawat said. She had awarded me five marks, out of seventy. I did badly. But not that bad. She had crossed each and every answer. For the same answer, Atul had scored a few, while mine was litter with ‘how’s and ‘why’s.

‘Koi na Adi. Kya fark padta hai,’ Pant consoled.

‘Saala retest dena hoga,’

‘Abe wo to mujhe bhi dena hoga. Bhai ko dekh apne. Paanch mein se chaar mein fail. Tomar to sab mein fail hai. Yahan tak ki physical mein bhi,’ He gave reference of  Tomar, another guy in our class.

‘Bhenchod itna bekar bhi na kiya tha. Mehnat kit hi,’ I confessed.

‘Bhai wo paagal hai. Number kahan deti hai. Eleventh ke baad to maine chemistry padhna hi chhod diya tha. Koi fayda na hota,’ Rawat replied. But at the moment, I was inconsolable. There was no subject in which I scored above seventy percent, not even computers. Maybe getting entangled in this ‘relationshit’ stuff must have some effect.

…………………………………………….

My mental condition didn’t improve in subsequent days, but the opposite was true. The more I thought about the result, the more gloomy I became. Talking to mom further aggravated the situation. She would talk about her problems with me, her tensions and worries. I didnt blame her though. Who else did she have in this world, given that younger brother was too young to understand them. Those added to the pressure. She had a lot of expectations from me. But how am I supposed to tell her that I can’t step upto them. It seriously didn’t help. Younger brothers responsibility laid on my shoulders.

All these started seriously damaging me from inside. In a couple of days, I had started developing suicidal tendencies. Suddenly ‘ENDING –IT-ALL- wasn’t as daunting as it should have been. I had really started experimenting with it, searching the internet for the places from where I could procure cynide (Here, I am not being melodramatic). Moreover, the recent release of Amir Khans movie 3 idiots on engineers had suddenly boosted me to walk down the ‘I QUIT’ way (there was an upsurge in suicide cases all over India after that movie).

So about a week later, I laid dormant when my phone rang. It was Rawat. I decided to pick it up.

‘Bhai Adi kahan hai tu aajkal. Na phone pick karta hai na hi messages ka reply. Tu thik to hai na?’ It was Atul at the other end.

‘Haan thik hun. Kya kaam hai?’ I went straight to the point.

‘Bhai kaam kya? Tu thik to hai na?’ He insisted, and I was not in a mood.

‘Haan yaar. Chal baad mein baat karta hun,’ I hung up without even hearing what the other hand had to say further. I just wished to be left alone.

About ten minutes later, the doorbell rang.

‘Tumhare dost aye hai,’ My aunt called me after answering the door.

‘Boldo main so raha hun,’ I tried to dodge them.

‘Are achcha thodi lagta hai ab jab maine bol diya ki tum aarhe ho. Jao baat karlo,’ She replied. I walked upto the door.

‘Kya hua?’ I asked Atul and Rawat.

‘Wahi puch rahe hai. Kya hua tujhe?’

‘Bola to thik hun.’ I replied.

‘Chal baat karni hai.’ Atul said, dragging me out.

‘Kya hai. Kya baat karni hai,’ irritation was evident in my tone.

‘Bhai humein nahi samajh aarha kya? Saale ikdum se tu badal gaya? Result ki tension hai kya?’

‘Chhod na yaar,’ I tried to avoid the topic.

‘Ek baar bhai chal to saath. Ground mein chalke baat karte gai,’ Rawat spoke. After much insisting, I finally gave upto their demands.

‘Bhai Adi kuch na hota yaar. Itna kyun tension leta hai future ke baare mein. Apna present bhi chudwa raha hai. Sale jo huwa hogya. Abhi kaunsa board mein tu fail hogaya hai.’ Atul tried to console me. I didn’t speak, didn’t wish to.

‘Adi kal Pant birthday party de raha hai. Tu aajaiyo,’ Rawat said.

‘Na bhai. Mood nahi hai,’

‘Sale Adi chhod na. Chal. Agar tu nahi chalega to party na hogi. Chal le. Bas tu chalega,’ Atul said.

‘Chal thik hai. Chal lunga,’ I said, just to avoid further conversation.

‘Chal thik hai fir. Kal subah dus baje ready ho jaiyo. Aur saale ghar jaake latak mat jaiyo kahin,’ Rawat said.

‘Na nahi latkunga,’ I said, smiling after a long time.

‘Bhai tu hasta hua hi achcha lagta hai. Itna serious mat raha kar. Sabinah chhod kar bhaag jaegi tujhe,’ Atul added. I hadn’t conversed with Sabinah since a week. I wasn’t in a mood, and she didn’t bother to message me too, unlike before, when she would often message me (mostly inquiring about the project).

‘Haan jaise abhi wo mere saath hai na,’ I replied.

‘Kyun be? Hum sab ko lagta thi ki wo teri bandi ban gayi hai,’ Rawat asked. 

‘Na bhai. Bandi nahi hai. Par wo like karti hai,’ I replied.

‘Mast hai firbhi,’ Atul said.

Though I had said so, somehow I now no longer believed it myself.

……………………………………………………………………….

The next day, we geared up for Pants birthday party. We had selected the hill behind Vasant Vihar as our hang out place. They claimed it was a really awesome place, though I had never seen it. Monu, Me, Rawat, Pant, Vaibhav(one of our classmate) were all supposed to be there.

‘Maadarchod maine suna ki tu ek kamre mein akele baith kar ro raha tha,’ Pant spoke as we made our way to the top of the hill. I decided to stay shut.

‘Bhenchod kaisa hogya hai ye Mulla.’ He said, trying to agitate me.

‘Adi aaj daru pile. Saare tension dur hojaenge,’ Rawat said and  I just nodded.

After reaching the top, Pant  cracked opened some cans of beer for all of us. He offered the first one to me.

‘Bhai tu sabse pehele piyega. Tu tension mein achcha na lagta.’ He said. I handled the can and smelt it.

‘Ek baar mein pijaiyo. Bottoms up!’ Pant said. I lifted the can that’s when Atul interrupted.

‘Abe ruk. Saalo cheers to karlo,’ Atul said as he raised his glass of cold drink.

‘Yeah! Cheers  guys,’ Rawat said, holding the can skywards.

‘Cheers!’

But no one sipped. They all stared at me, while I stared back at them.

‘Kya hua?’ I asked.

‘Saale pi na. Tere baad hum piyenge,’ Pant said. These guys were showing a keen interest to get me drunk ( they all do when it’s your first time). I brought the can upto my lips and drowned the can in a single breath. It wasn’t really tasty. Don’t know how they loved it.

‘Yeah Adi!’ Rawat said and they all joined the bottoms up.

‘Ab daaru ki baari,’ Pant said as he opened a bottle of vodka.

‘Nikaal khamba. Aaj to pura khich jaunga main,’ Vaibhav said.

I flushed in a couple of pegs of Vodka and got seated on a rock. Few minutes later I got up to take a piss, that’s when I felt it. A kind of numbness all over, body felt somewhat light. Though my brain was in full control.

‘So that is what they crave for,’ I thought as I walked downhill to relieve myself.

‘Abe Adiii ruk. Dekho saala kood na jaye,’ Rawat shouted.

‘Abe saale mootne jar aha hun,’ I shouted back. That’s when they guys started singing a song, definetly dedicated to me

‘JAANE NAHI, DENGE TUJHE….. JAANE NAHI DENGE TUJHE,’ they sang ( from 3 Idiots). They had brought a smile on my face.

‘Bhai ho yaar tum. Tumhe kaise chhod kar jaa sakta hu,’ I said after relieving myself of the excess water.

‘Bhai bola hai tune. Jaiyo mat,’ Pant replied and we both hugged each other.

‘Yaar thank you. Tum log nahi hote to main sahi mein latak hi jaata,’ I said that’s when Pant landed a  couple of punches on my chest.

‘Saale bhai ko thank you?’ He said.

Followed some senti moments where we all talked about our brotherhood and how much we could do for each other. I had really forgotten about all the problems, the boards, exams, IITs, Sabinah. Nothing crossed my mind. Just peaceful oblivion. I wish I could be drunk and high for rest of my life.