16.
The next day we were sitting in the computer class. Computer was among the few subjects I was good at. I was sitting alongside Atul when our not-so-much respected computer teacher, MAMUN, made an announcement.
‘Tum sabko ek project karna hoga. Wo project November end tak submit karna hai. Topics main tum sabko baad mein bata dunga.’
Okay now, that was some kind of a cracker. Though in the modern age of internet, it wasn’t a big deal. Actually, it didn’t even bother me at all.
‘Adi, tu karega na project?’ He asked.
‘Nahi, MAMUN to mera chacha laga hai na jo free mein number de dega.’
‘Nahi, to jab bhi karega mera bhi kardiyo.’
‘Loda choosega mera?’ I said.
‘Abe kardiyo na. Mujhe computer na aati.’ He begged.
‘Bhaag ja. Sochunga.’
‘Ye bata, tune Physical education bhi liya hai na?’ He asked.
‘Haan, tune?’
‘Maine bhi li hai. Bhenchod saala uska bhi project karna padega.’
‘Haan be. Wo mera tu kardiyo.’ I said.
‘Chal deal. Main tujhe physical ka project mail kar dunga.’ He said decisively.
Now there was a fair deal. Definitely a fair deal. I didn’t want to spend half an hour more on another trash project when I could use that time to hone my CS skills.
It was barely 5 minutes since the class started when Sabinah and Sandhya walked into the class.
‘Oye, saale inhone bhi computer le rakhi hai?’ I asked Atul.
‘Li hi hogi.’ He replied unenthusiastically.
Yeah, it was obvious. Stupid me. But man, was I excited? Sabinah was in computers. Maybe we could be talking terms once again, but the problem was, I wasn’t going to take the first step, not this time.
I barely paid attention to the class anymore. Every now and then, I would lean forward and look past Atul to take have a look of her. I just couldn’t get her out of my mind.
‘Maa ke lodhe, bhot ghoor liya use. Ab padhle.’ Atul whispered.
‘Main kise ghur raha hun be?’ I was defensive straight away.
‘Haan be, baap ko chutiya banaega ab? Itna badaa hogya?’ He said.
Well, I was caught red handed. No arguing about it.
‘Haan thik hai. Ghoor raha tha. To kya?’ I gave in as Atul snickered. He is a big bitch.
After the class, Atul and I walked together into the class. As soon as I entered the class, I saw my tiffin being tossed back and forth by Nishant and Pant (AGAIN!).
‘Maa ke lodho, apne ghar se laya karo khaana.’ I ran and grabbed my tiffin. It felt unusually light. I didn’t need to open it. I knew it was empty.
‘Bhenchodo, maadarchodo, kyun meri gand marte rehete ho. Saalo khaana to chhod diya karo. Kam se kam lunch ka to wait kara karo.’
‘Hat Bhanchod.’ Shouted pant. Wow, I should learn to be thankful from him.
‘Adi, bhai teri sandwich mast thi.’ Nishant said. Fucking dog.
Man, I was already hungry. Guess Kartikey had to bear my burden for today.
During lunch, I bullied Kartikey into sharing his lunch. As soon as we finished the lunch, he got up and got ready to leave.
‘Where do you think you’r going.’
‘Where do you think I’m going.’
‘No idea.’ I replied.
‘Oh, then in that case, get idea.’ He said, with a broad wicked smile over his face. He needn’t say more.
‘Bhenchod, saale kya karega unke paas jaake.’
‘Bhai main Sabinah se dur nahi reh sakta. Tu janta hi hai wo kitni mast hai.’
‘Maa ke lodhe baith ja.’ But before I could say anything more, he walked away. I started to feel uneasy about this whole matter. Moreover, Kartikey didn’t have a good track record in this subject. Remember, the Milo and Sanskriti case. But definetly I wasn’t going to fight Kartikey over some girl who aint even in talking terms with me.
I reached home a bit late that day after school. Atul, me, Monu, Nishant, Pant and Sarth had been hanging out at Nishant’s place. They made plans about Sarth’s birthday, the place for the party, and the amount of booze. Yeah they drank(except Monu and Atul, me included at that time), and it was a common practice among many students. The most surprising part was that Nishant also drank. Going by his looks, he should be spending most f his tie buried in his books. A total nerd, in short.
The first thing I did was switch on the computer.
‘Bas aate hi computer mein jut gaye.’ My aunty said.
‘Haan, kyun, nahi karna chahiye kya?’ I said sarcastically.
‘Pehele khaana waana to khalo.’
‘Haan, to khaana se kisne mana kiya hai. ‘
I was really hungry. Those bitches ate my lunch. But my aunty kept nagging me to get off the computer. Don’t blame her. Multitasking isn’t a product of her generation. She had no idea that the computer table was actually my dining table.
After the lunch, I went back to my workplace, that is, my computer table and double clicked the ‘Counter-Strike’ icon. As the game popped up, I searched up the internet for some worthwhile server. I connected to one of it, and soon I was facing spree of bullets knocking my balls out. But I had to be a pro in CS, so I had to slog it out. I hated when guys called me ‘noob’ whenever we played CS. I need to get that tag off me. After getting over with the game, I downloaded some songs. Yeah, Eminem’s. I did kind of liked it. Barely did I care that the exams were little more than a week away.
‘Sab ho jaega.’ Like Kartikey said.
‘Ho hi jaega.’
I was tuned into music, as I facebooked when a message popped up.
‘Yeah Yeah Adi.’ It was Sarth online.
‘Yeah yeah. Ke kar raha tha?’
‘Kuch na. Bore ho raha tha.’ He said.
‘Hmmmm. Aaj aayga khelne?’
‘Yo. Aur bata tu. Kya kar raha tha abhi?’
‘Kuch na. Thodi der pehele to CS khel raha tha. Abhi gaane sun raha hun.’
‘Hmmm. Sahi hai. Aur padh na raha?’
‘Lol. Padhna. Bhai abhi tauji ghar par nahi hai. Buk se bhot dur hun filhaal main.’
‘Hahahaha. Sahi hai. To aaja abhi ground.’
‘Abhi?’ I was surprised. So early? I looked at the clock. Damn, it was already Five thirty. I had been computing for over 3 hours. Time really flies when you’re enjoying.
‘Haan. 10 min mein milja ground mein.’ He replied.
‘Chal thik hai. Aata hun.’
I quickly went offline, switched off the computer and got ready.
…………………………………………………………….
‘OO bhenchod, jaldi pukam karo.’ Atul shouted.
Pukam was our method to divide teams. Me, Atul, Sarth, ABIG, Monu and a few other guys there at the ground. We got our stumps ready and divided ourselves into teams. Just as we were deep down into a sweating contest, they entered the ground. Just as Dk square entered the ground, I saw Atul nudge ABIG, while he flurred good deal of abuses in return. I eyed the youngest member of their group, Deepa.
‘Oye Sarth, Deepa 10th mein hai na?’ I asked him.
‘Haan shayad. Kyun pasand aagyi kya?’ He asked grinning.
‘Haan thodi bohot, bandi sahi hai.’
‘Yeah Yeah, baat karle fir to usse.’
‘Na rehenede.’
‘Sabinah ka kya hua? Baat na hoti usse?’ Sarth asked.
‘Nahi yaar.’ I said.
Okay now, I know I liked Sabinah, but all the boys eye other girls as well. That’s a fact (To all the girls, if you didn’t know).
………………………………………
Atul and me walked down the road after the game.
‘Chal fir Adi, bye.’ Atul called as we approached my house.
‘Bye kyun be. Aaj Tuesday hai. Mujhe mandir jaana hai.’
‘Tu bhi jata hai mandir?’
‘Haan bhai. Exams aa rahe hai.’ I replied meekly.
Sahi hai, chal fir saath mein chalte hai. Par usse pehele tu mere ghar chalega.’
We walked towards Atuls home. As soon as we entered his block. He spoke
‘Saale gali mat diyo yahan par.’
‘Thik hai penchor. Saale markerchor’ I said softly and giggled.
He quickly climbed the stairs of his house, and within 5 minutes, came back with a container.
‘Ye kya hai be?’
‘Ye teri gaand mein daalne ke liye. Pehele chal mother dairy. Doodh lena hai.’
“Tu rahega hi saala randy ka’
‘Adi wo road dekh raha hai?’
‘Haan kyun?’
‘Us gali ke piche teri bandi reheti hai.’
‘Kaun be.’
‘Sabinah be.’
‘Achcha? Waise wo meri bandi na hai bhai.’ I sighed.
‘Koi nahi. Chal le chalta hun tujhe uske ghar.’
‘Na rehene de. Chup chaap se mother dairy chal.’
Atul bought his milk and other goods, along with the prasaad. After visiting the temple, we parted our ways, and I headed home. As I walked, I checked out the clock. It was almost 8.
‘Shit, I’m a dead man.’ I cried and started running. As soon as I entered the house, my uncle called out to me.
‘Where were you?’
‘Uh, Umm, I was at the temple.’
‘God won’t help you until you study. It is 12th. You will also be giving your IIT exam this year. You should be serious.’
‘Um, Uh, yes. I was just going to study.’ I quickly left, avoiding uncles glare.I grabbed the first book I saw, and went inside. Just needed to pretend like studying for like an hour before uncle goes to bed. Not a big deal.
I grabbed my mobile and started messaging . Best thing to do to paas time, aint it.
17.
Over a week passed and studies were at bare minimum. At weekdays, I would come back from school, straightaway take the computer seat and would start playing CS. As the clock struck 6, I could be found at the ground along with Sarth and Atul. School was picnic time, bunking classes, especially Physics, as the physics teacher bothered us the least. But you could find everyone in Charulata’s class. She always carried anger on her nose. Poor lady was really fed up with life and the way things were going for her at home, that’s what we felt, going by her attitude. In computer class, most of time was spent ogling Sabinah. I had a good impression on MAMUN, for a change. He thought I was among the better students, which in fact I was, at least in computer. My lunch would get stolen almost every day, guess Pant had developed a special taste for my sandwiches. I need to do something about that, and Kartikey was mixing really well with Sandhya and Sabinah, which I was really jealous of. Wish one murder was forgiven. I didn’t mind him mixing with Sandhya, but I wished he could maintain a few metres distance with Sabinah. And at weekends, I was at institute, ducking for cover from Safdar .Having said all this, it was exam time, the first session exams, and at last I had found a resonance with the books. Not really resonance, actually I was headbanging with the help of the books, as I barely understood a word it read.
‘What is this fucking co ordination no.’ I cried. I needed help.
‘Better ask Nayan’,I thought. He was among the most intelligent guy I knew, or at least the most intelligent guy in my phonebook.
I called Nayan, and what followed was a gruesome session on brain-fucking. Poor guy would have puked at the name of Chemistry for next hour or so. But, I had much of my problem solved.
The next day, during the exam, I was almost sweating. Charulata really disliked us, that is, most of the class, and that really showed in the question paper.
‘Hey, temme the nerst equation. Is it plus or minus? ‘I whispered to a guy sitting across me.
‘What?’ He whispered back.
‘AWWW, listen carefully you son of a bitch, tell me the nerst equation.’
He nodded, took out his eraser, scribbled something on it, and passed it to me.
‘Great, keep it coming.’ I gave him a thumbs up.
During the whole time, we had to work in a team to get through. TEAMWORK at its best. Later at the end of the exam I met Nayan.
‘Kaisa hua paper?’ He asked.
‘Bhai, lodhe lag gaye.’ I whined.
‘Mera bhi bekar hua yaar.’ He grumbled.
Oh, if he is saying that, it was obvious that I was failing.
I walked down the corridor to meet Atul, Sarth and Nishant.
‘Chud gaya chud gaya.’ Atul sang along as Sarth bore a smile on his face.
‘Aur bhai Sarth tera kaisa hua?’ I asked.
‘Bhai maine 11th ke baad kabhi chemistry padhi hi nahi. Double figures mein bhi nahi aane wale.’ He said happily.
The best part was being happy even when you’re sure you’re fucked up. Stress management or hopelessness?
‘Tera to sahi hua hoga?’ I turned to Nishant.
‘Chutiya hogya hai kya?’ He laughed. Guess it was too obvious. But how would I know. You gotta study to know the toughness of the paper.
‘Chal yaar chalta hun, kal ke paper ke liye padhna hai.’ I took leave and started walking. I had barely taken few steps when I saw Kartikey really melting over Sandhya and Sabinah, laughing and whiling away.
‘Fuck you!’ I worded these words as I passed Kartikey, showing him the middle finger. He smiled and showed me back as he enjoyed my jealousy. Both Sandhya and Sabinah turned around to look me, and as they did, I looked away and started walking.
I reached home and straight away hopped onto the bed. I really needed some rest before I could study anymore. Chemistry had reacted with my brain juice.
…………………………………..
I was really engrossed with my physics book. It was almost 8 in the evening and I had barely crossed a chapter of physics. I picked up my mobile and started typing.
‘Hey, kitna hua?’ I punched and added a few guys to the senders list. After a few seconds it buzzed with replies.
‘Chudi padhi hai, abhi shuru kiya hai.’ Kartikeys reply.
That’s my brother, I thought.
‘Haraami saale disturb mat kar. Shuru karna hai abhi. Tune to sab karliya hoga.’ Atul’s funny, really! Other replies were similar. Nobody would claim he ‘dunnit all’, even if he would have. I really needed more reconciliation that I’m not the only one deep down in shit, so I decided to call Kartikey.
‘Aur bhenchod, kitna padha!’ I started.
‘Nothing, Just started.’
‘Don’t you play with me. Temme the truth.’
‘What else am I supposed to say. Told you I just started.’
‘Hmmm good, that’s good.’ I said, relieved.
‘Hey, she was asking about you.’ He came back.
‘What? Who’ Suddenly I knew what he meant.
‘Woah, calm down. Sabinah was asking about you today when you went past me.’
‘What did she ask about?’ I tried to sound not too excited.
‘Ummm, she asked about how your paper went.’
‘Oh, and what did you say?’ I asked, losing my patience.
‘I said that I didn’t know, how would I know how your paper went when I didn’t even talk to you after that.’
‘Yeah, for sure, you were just too busy talking to them, you dick.’
‘Yeah yeah, whatever you say.’
‘So is that all. Is that all what she asked?’ I was disappointed.
‘Well, there was another thing she asked.’
‘So do you need an invitation to tell it all.’
‘Well, she asked why you don’t talk to her.’
Oh wow, now he is getting to the point.
‘So what did you say?’ I asked.
‘I just said I don’t know. What do you want me to say, you and Krishna fighting, and all that shit?’
‘No no, its fine.Okay man, gotta go. Bye. See you later.’ I hung up quickly. Great, atleast she still notices me. Good news man, and bad at the same time. Now my whole time would be wasted dreaming and fantasizing, and studies would take a walk.
……………………………………………………………
I took a deep breath as I wrote the last few words. Over with Physics too. I quickly rushed out of the examination hall to find Nayan.
‘I don’t need to ask how was the exam. You would have ripped through the question like a hot knife in butter.’ I said.
‘Not exactly, but yeah, it was fine.’ He sounded flattered. Along with him was Milo.
‘Aur bhai tera kiska exam tha aaj?’ I asked Milo.
‘Bhai accounts. Chud gayi.’ He said and then added ‘Bhai Kartikey aajkal Sabinah ke saath bhot ghum raha hai. Samjhana hai kya?’ He offered, which obviously meant Kartikey getting a dose again and this time it would have probably ended in his broken limb.
‘Na na bhai. Rehene de. Dost hai.‘ I tried to sound normal.
‘Thik hai bhai. Par agar koi bhi problem ho to bata diyo.’ He left soon after.
I walked upto the water cooler where I met Sarth, Atul, Nishant and Pant.
‘Adi khaana nikal.’ Pant shouted.
‘Na laaya.’ I said covering my backpack.
‘Hat bhanchod, nikaal raha hai ya jau Sabinah ke paas aur ye bata du ki tu use like karta hai.’ He said pointing towards Sabinah, who was having a gala time with Sandhya and Kartikey.
‘Jaa. Mera kya hai.’
He started walking towards her, then looked back to check if I had changed my mind, which I didn’t. So he continued walking. At first I thought he was bluffing, but soon realized how wrong I was. He walked upto them and shook hands, and said something to Kartikey, who smiled and they botch looked towards me.
‘Bhen ka lodha saala haraamzada.’ I said.
‘Adi wo saala sanaki hai. Dede apna tiffin use, warna saala pata nahi kya kya bak dega.’ Atul warned.
I joined my hands together, begging him not to do anything idiotic. He must have understood the signal, as he came back double quick.
‘Nikaal jaldi.’
‘Bhai na laaya hun. Do minute mein to ghar pohoch jaunga. Pakka agli baar de dunga.’ He wasn’t really satisfied, but didn’t bother me anymore that time.
Half an hour later, I was with Atul, Sarth and Nishant in the market of sector 4.
‘Bhai Adi momos khila de.’ Atul said.
‘Hat saale. Paise na hai. Ek tu us maadarchod ne mood kharaab kar diya..’
They all laughed on being reminded of the incident.
‘Saale usse panga mat liya kar. Saala paagal hai. Kuch bhi kar dega. Tera Sabinah ke saamnein KELA kar dega.’ Atul said, dancing both of his index finger to and fro.
‘Bhai Atul aaj tu kuch khila de.’ Nishant butt in.
‘Ooo. Bapu gand and mein dande de dega. Aaj ghar mein waise bhi BAINGAN banaa hai.’
‘Baingan? To be tujhe baingan pasand hai kya?’ I said amused and surprised at the same time.
‘Nahi be. Par aajkal baingan ka bhaav dekha hai? Saale PACHAAS rupaiy kilo ke bhaav hai.’
We all were left in bits at his reply. Really, that was really some reply.
‘Tu leta hai kya sabziyan?’ Nishant asked.
‘Aur nahi to kya. BAPU sab karwaata hai mujhse.’ He said, as if his whole life is meaningless and he is living under slavery and is subjected sodomy if he refused (not to be taken literally).
‘Chal yaar chalta hun. Kal saala maths ka paper hai.’
‘Chal fir Adi, kal milte hai.’ Sarth said, for the first time.
‘Aaj ayga mandir?’ Atul asked.
‘Haan, phone kar diyo mujhe jab bhi aana ho.’ I said and walked away.
I bedded myself as soon as I reached home. I was almost prepared for the maths exam the next day, thanks to Sadfar. Only some part of integration was to be done, which I had actually planned to leave for the exam. So I could enjoy a stress-less sleep.
I was woken up by my ringing phone. I picked it up without even reading the callers name.
‘Heelllooo.’ I groaned in a rough voice.
‘Hello, kahan hai be?’ Atul on the other side.
‘So raha tha. Kyun?’
‘Bhosdi ke. Mandir na jana?’
‘Are haan. Chal main aata hun. Kahan milega?’
‘Mother dairy. Jaldi aa.’
I quickly hopped off the bed, splashed water on my face and got dressed. I quickly ran towards mother dairy to find him qued up for the milk.
‘Saale kitna doodh piyega. Dekh kitna mota ho raha hai be.’ I commented.
‘Adi tu bhi lena shuru karde doodh. Dekh Sabinah ki yaado mein kitna kamzoor hota jaa raha hai.’
Alright, good one. I gotta admit it. Well one thing about Atul, you can’t really outwit him when it comes to commenting, or the word war. If you have a comment, he would always have a counter comment.
‘Bhai kya bolu ab main. Uska naam mat liya kar.’ I said.
‘Haan wo sab chhod, maths kitni kar li.’
‘Bhai jo institute mein kiya tha wahi padh kar jaunga. Kuch naya nahi karunga.’
We both chatted about it for a while as we walked towards Atul’s house.
‘Tu yahin ruk, main samaan rakh kar aata hun. Fir chalenge mandir.’ He disappeared into the stairs, only to be seen 5 minutes later.
……………………………………………………………..
‘Atleast it’s over.’ I thought happily as I completed the maths exam. After leaving the examination hall, I found Kartikey, this time alone.
‘Kaisa gaya paper?’ He asked.
‘70 ke upar aaynge ismein.’ I said confidently.
‘Hain? Kitna padh ke aaya tha be?’ He said, sounding annoyed, as if I had broken his trust.
‘Kuch nahi padha yaar. Jo pehele kiya tha bas wahi aata tha. Kal ghar jaate hi so gaya. Sone ke baad mandir gaya, aur aakar ek baar revise kiya sab kuch, aur fir so gaya.’
‘Sahi hai bhenchod.’
‘Khair aaj to main paper khatm.’
‘Haan’ he nodded happily.
Now we were left with english, computer, and physical education exam. I was good at computers, so it leaves 2. And more over we were students with dignity, and studying for exams like english and physical was really below our dignity. It was really cheap thing to do. After all, when we could handle cannon balls of physics and chemistry, what shit could English and physical probably do?
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